The Oracle Of Blah

Fattie Friday Vol. 12

2005-09-23T11:00:00.000+02:00

Do to recent game addictions I must admit I have been neglecting my blog. Tough titty said the kitty. It'll still be here, but there is no way I'll miss a Fattie Friday! This morning after work I had to help the local farmer pump out my shit pit, cesspool what ever it's called. See up in the mountains we don't have sewers. I must say I have not been this disgusted since seeing all the dead bodies in the Gulf War part 1. The stench alone is enough to knock you off your feet. So since I'm this grossed out. I thought, I would post something to help everyone else get the feel. Have fun, and have a nice Autoumn weekend. ~ Raven The Insensitive

Fattie Friday Vol. 11...

2005-09-16T07:03:00.000+02:00

Speechless, and stunned are just a few of the things that occurred to me when I found this photo. Can you imagine her trying to take a dump? It would be like a B-52 making a bombing over dense jungle. You just got to hope it gets in there. As far as cooking with bacon grease goes. I'm scared straight now. ~ Raven The Insensitive

Somethings Better Left Unsaid...

2005-09-12T16:51:00.000+02:00

~ Raven

Fattie Friday Vol. 10

2005-09-09T06:45:00.000+02:00

Since some of Blogs I visit are going for the art thing. I thought I'd give it a whirl. I call this Master Piece - Between A Rock and A Hard Place. I must admit I had been leaning towards - Smoother Me With Love, but I'll stick with my first choice. OH! I juat had a brain storm. How would - Love Sandwhich work? One last good thing about this photo. You'll notice that this poor guy has not yet turned purple. Which means he's still getting a little O2 to the brain. That's a good thing right? ~ Raven The Insensitive

Computers Just Keep Getting Better...

2005-09-08T11:47:00.000+02:00

This is such a great idea! Now you don't have to leave the computer to eat. If they could only come up with something to take care of that having to go to the bathroom thing. You'd never have to leave your computer alone. ~ Raven

Do It Yourself Repairman...

2005-09-07T12:51:00.000+02:00

~ Raven

The Oracle's Pick For Surpreme Court Justice...

2005-09-05T15:36:00.000+02:00

Mr.Manson would make a wonderful choice for the next Supreme Court Justice. On breaks between cases everyone would be treated to some good live music. I'm going to cut this short as I'm trying to get my Launchcast radio working again. I'll try to install an older version. I find it hard living with no music. ~ Raven

Butt Ugly!!!

2005-09-03T08:03:00.000+02:00

I don't want to hear no shit from guy's. We've all slept with a creatur... errr I mean a woman that we never would of, if we'd been sober. It's funny how alcohol can make things look different. Waking up the next day, and seeing what's sleeping next to you! Wakes you right up don't it? If she happens to be laying on your arm. You'd rather chew it off then wake her up! Dude don't bullshit we've all been there. Fuzzy memory, and all you had fun the night before. So don't forget when your hard up. Alcohol helps to lower your standards. In some cases the more, the better. ~ Raven The Pagan

Fattie Friday Vol. 9

2005-09-02T07:17:00.000+02:00

Yes it's that time of the week again. This week we look at usefull fat. I mean if you're going to be fat you should use it. As this porker here demonstrates. Only problem I can see is that your drink is going to get warm. Warm drinks aside her tits do make a great cup holder don't they? Just the thing if your pooped from devouring you double XXXL Whooper with cheese and extra heart stopping bacon! Oh let's not forget that side order of deep fried cheese sticks LOL! ~ Raven The Insensitive

No Need For Words...

2005-09-01T10:07:00.000+02:00

~ Raven The Pagan

It's What You Think Of yourself...

2005-08-31T08:52:00.000+02:00

If you want people to think better of you. Start by thinking better of yourself. ~ Raven The Pagan

Dragons And Faries...

2005-08-30T08:20:00.000+02:00

A cool way to waste your time. If your into roll playing games like myself. Then I have just the game for you. It's called Runescape. It's a massive online line game with thousands of players. At any one time you can find 40000 to 150000 players online. You don't have to pay to play, it's FREE. Since it's humans you meet all types. Give it a try if you've got the time. ~ Raven

A Vision From The Oracle...

2005-08-29T10:12:00.000+02:00

An ill advised party comming up this weekend. The Oracle see's projectile vomiting in your future. This is never a fun experience so caution should be used when consuming mass quantities of alcohol. Since good advice is always needed, but alas is seldom heeded. Try at the very least to stay away from foods made with tuna fish or tomatoes. ~ Raven The Pagan

Phattie Friday Vol. 8

2005-08-26T10:02:00.000+02:00

Time again for a Phattie Friday. That's P-H-A-T Phat. This week I like to post some of my favorite T's. I mean t-shirts, so get your mind out of the gutter! I must say these are some fine looking T's aren't they? Picture this, your walking along with your wife. One of these fine gals comes strutting by sporting her very cool t-shirt. Naturally a guy is going to stop and admire such a fine looking t-shirt. Now my question is. Why on earth would my wife smack me in the back of the head. Just because I'm a slow reader! Enjoy your weekend. ~ Raven

Best Ever Picture Of Pat Robertson...

2005-08-24T09:25:00.000+02:00

Religious leader from the Moral Majority promoting the assassination of an elected public official. Some people wonder why the world is starting to hate America. Assholes like Pat Robertson are in the vanguard of reasons. Please tell me where the Bible beaters dug this guy up. I think the scariest thing of all is that this idiot has about 1 million morons tuning in everyday. Oh by the way. Make sure you send him little Billy's collage fund. He needs money for a new Cadillac. Can I get a Hallelujah Brother! ~ Raven

Readers Respond...

2005-08-23T09:10:00.000+02:00

Believe it or not. Some people find Fattie Friday their highlight of the week. Email has been moderate, but mostly positive. Keep dem sexy Mamma's commin wrote one very lonely gentleman. Never fear between the Oracle and Greg's World we'll keep those hungry honeys comming. ~ Raven

Fattie Friday Vol. 7

2005-08-19T14:31:00.000+02:00

Here's new meaning to a flabby stomach! To be honest the thought of touching that makes my skin crawl. Juggling it back and forth in your hands like a slinky. I don't know how someone can let themselves go like this. If she gets liposuction they're going to need an oil drum to hold all that. ~ Raven The Insensitive

Enjoying Vacation, Well Sorta...

2005-08-18T12:28:00.000+02:00

It's funny how a child's vocabulary is greatly reduced while riding in a car. "I'm hungry or thirsty, and that ever popular I have to go to the bathroom." I find it so much fun. Stopping to fill the car up at the gas station. Asking if anyone has to go to the bathroom. Nope. So we get under way once more. About 20 minutes later you hear "I gotta go to the bathroom" WTF! After they empty themselves out. They usually start on hungry and thristy again. We must not forget "Are we there yet?" It's no wonder parents get gray hair! Today my wife and her sister took the kids to an amusement park. Dad stayed at home. My wife kept asking if I was sure I didn't want to go. I guess she just missed the point. Home alone! The sweet sound of silence. ~ Raven Chillin

Hot Animal Porn!!!

2005-08-13T15:26:00.000+02:00

Let's all watch our friends from nature get their freak on! Send me your credit card info, and I'll see that you get full access to the Animal Kingdom. Here you thought John Holmes, and Long Dong Silver were hung. Just wait till you see Mr.Ed in sweaty hot , and heavy action. ~ Raven

Fattie Friday Vol. 6

2005-08-12T11:14:00.000+02:00

Baby got back! Back, back, and more back! I like a women that's packin something in back, that you can really get your hands on. If you know what I mean. On the other hand some times you can have too much of a good thing. Some cool things you could do with this ass. Well for one thing you could park your bike here, and if here nips are pierced. You can chain it up and lock it too. ~ Raven The Insensitive

What a Way To Start A Vacation...

2005-08-10T09:42:00.000+02:00

Well today's the first time I've really been out of bed since Sunday, or I should say for any length of time. I did exit to eat, go to the Doctor, and bathroom. Sick as a dog only begins to describe what I felt like. I had some kind of infection. Every joint in my body ached, freezing cold chills, then 20 mins. later sweating my ass off. I also just loved hacking and coughing myself into a near stroke. It all started on Friday night at work. By Saturday night (which was my last night of work) I felt like the walking dead. When I got home Sunday morning I went to bed, and stayed there till I went to the Doctor's office monday morning. Thankfully it seems my meds have started to change the tide of battle going on in my body. My Doc wasn't to clear on what I had. All I know is I wouldn't wish this on anyone. What a way to start my summer vacation off. ~ Raven Recovering

Fattie Friday Vol. 5

2005-08-05T07:13:00.000+02:00

To boldly go where no man has gone before. Or maybe I should say no sober man. Do you dare pick these roses? If so then you better pucker up those lips buddy. There seems to be a fairly large area you'll be covering. Here's a eww disgusting thought. Remember those fudgicles when you where a kid? Remember how you always got that last little bit off before you threw the stick away? Well those rose stems aren't going to clean themselves. ~ Raven The Insensitive

A Few Eye Catching Billboards...

2005-08-04T07:09:00.000+02:00

Billboards are a great way to get your Message across don't you think? So here's a few of the cooler ones I've found. Today's post is going to be a short one since I find it hard to consentrait. I have 3 more nights of work then I have 3 1/2 weeks off. Sweet vacation. ~ Raven

New PS2 Game...

2005-08-03T07:09:00.000+02:00

My two son's where driving me crazy about getting them a new game for their PS2. So dad broke down and forked out some cash. They seem to enjoy the game. I personally prefer PC games, but what the hell as long as their happy. ~ Raven

Bill Clinton - A True Pimp Daddy...

2005-08-02T08:47:00.000+02:00

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and that's a fact. Weather your Red or Blue you have to admire the man. From a man's point of view anyway. I'm not a Democrat, but I do respect Bill. Hell if I was the most powerful man on the planet, I think I would be enjoying the perks of my office too, and why not! Please don't lay no "What would your wife think" jive on me either. Hillary seemed to take it in stride or? As you may have guessed my wife doesn't read my blog. Thank the heavens. ~ Raven the Pagan

Now Anyone Can Become A Terrorist...

2005-08-01T07:08:00.000+02:00

I hadn't planned on posting again so soon, but we all know how things sometimes take on a life of their own. So let me explain. I got home from work today, and following my ritual the first website I check is CNN. Now after reading about the London bombers, I decided to look up the type of explosive they used. Well a simple Google serch turned up this website totse. Do you wanna make a zip gun, explosives, sabotage your work or school, and much much more. This website has it all. I guess it's freedom of information that let's this kind stuff float around on the internet. I was amazed at how easy this information was to find. No wonder that terrorists are crawling out of every crack, and crevice of our society. Anyone with a gripe can try to set matters straight. Crazy world we all live in. ~ Raven

Toy Story 3 - Adult Toys...

2005-07-31T19:34:00.000+02:00

Even Adults need toys. Us Dads have cool toys like motorcycles, computers, home entertainment systems, and the occasional chain saw. What do Moms like in toys? Well I bet alot of you are probably saying things like brooms, vacuum cleaners, rolling pins, and the occasional cast iron skillet. Well your wrong. Moms want something that's not just fun to use. They want something that adds a little pep to their lives. Something like Vinny the Vibrator star of Toy Story 3. I know what your thinking Vinny is on the somewhat smaller side. Never fear Vinny comes in larger sizes also like the XXXL model which has it's own kick starter. Moms with that baby you can pound through solid concrete. Have fun! ~ Raven the Pagan

Phattie Friday Vol. 4

2005-07-29T07:55:00.000+02:00

That's P-H-A-T fat. Thought I would try something else. Instead of always showing fat people, I thought I'd show some Phat people. Anna Kournikova should be a pretty good start. As a tennis player she's hands down one of the best. This lusty Russian babe has beaten virtually every top player in the women's field and is the only player in the past 18 years to have defeated four consecutive top ten players in a single tournament, which she did on her way to the '98 final in Key Biscayne, Fla. Other pluses - She likes her Vodka straight, and she's got a body like karate. Need I say more? ~ Raven Drooling

Terrorists Amongst Us...

2005-07-27T08:15:00.000+02:00

Since the London bombings a lot of people have been asking themselves, what does a Terrorist look like? They are amongst us as London proves. Nowhere is safe so it seems. Or is that just what they want us to think? Personally I think these assholes want us to be afraid. So to spite these cocksuckers, I say fuck'em. We can't let them force us to play their game. I'm going to live my life the way I want. I refuse to live in fear of these cocksuckers. When we sacrifice our freedom to feel safe, then they win. That is something that a free thinking people can't accept. ~ Raven

Love Or Lust???

2005-07-25T08:43:00.000+02:00

Well what do you think? Hey I can see an upside to this, and a down side. Plus side - You'll never get bitched at for leaving the toilet seat up, never get bitched at for drinking to much, never get bitched at for not doing enough around the house, and you'll never hear the words "I have a headache."
Down side - I'm still working on that. I'll have to get back to you. ~ Raven

My Advertisemnt Was Rejected...

2005-07-23T15:51:00.000+02:00

Jeez I put all that work into doing a photo advertisement for Tampax, and they didn't want it. I thought it was to the point but still subtle. It really gets the message across, and all that. Just think ladies your thumbing through some boring women's magazine, and you come across my nice eye catching photo. Admit it. You would want to run right out and buy a whole crate of these things right? Or maybe I should just try my luck with another product? ~ Raven

Fattie Friday Vol. 3

2005-07-22T14:50:00.000+02:00

You've all heard of Nike Air Sneakers. Well this big-boned mama here is sporting the new Nike Hydraulic Sneakers. Someone who leaves footprints in dry cement needs that extra support you only get with 1500 psi. I just hope that her seals hold. ~ Raven The Insensitive

P.S. She makes me think of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Where the Ompa Lumpas roll that fat kid away. LMFAO

Solution For The Mother In-Law Problem...

2005-07-21T14:39:00.000+02:00

The US Government Tries To Silence Critics...

2005-07-20T15:59:00.000+02:00

Since so many people and organizations are concerned for the rights of detainees, at places like Guantanamo Bay. Some of these detainees have sworn to kill as many civilians as possible, if given the chance, but that's not important. What is important is their right to due process. So I'm so relieved to report that the US Navy has come up with a pretty good plan. It's called the Terrorist Catch and Release Programm. Sounds like just the thing to make both sides on this issue happy. Time will tell. ~ Raven

The Oracle Shows An Image - She Knows!

2005-07-19T16:20:00.000+02:00

The Oracle see's a mutual acquaintance spoting you somewhere you weren't supposed to be. Of course this topic will come up at the next meeting between blabber mouth and your significant other. What were you doing comming out of Soandso's house on a day that your supposed to be at work!?!? The shit will hit the fan! The Oracle recommends that you let the big head do the thinking for the little head for the next couple of days. Besides you can't lie for shit anyways. ~ Raven The Pagan

The Majesty Of The Austrian Alps

2005-07-18T09:38:00.000+02:00

Mother Nature at her very best. Standing at the foot of these moutains you get a sense of how small you are. No work of man can equal this. What can I say. I had a great weekend. To be honest it was hard to come back. Driving a chopper around on the moutain roads, fresh alpine air in your face. The sense of freedom is strong. You have to think to yourself it doesn't get much better than this. I guess you have to do it to understand. Had some real hair-raising excitement too. While heading back to Salzburg from Lake Wolfgang we drove into a heavy rain storm. There wasn't really any place to stop to wait it out. So we put on our wet weather gear, and hit the road. For about the next 45 minutes I was, how shall I put it. Concerned for my well being. Mountain roads through the Alps in a heavy rain storm. Very exciting, yes indeedy! Would I want to do that drive again. I think not. Leaving that one drive out wouldn't spoil my weekend. ~ Raven
P.S. Greg he did put a new rim on if it makes you feel any better.

Fattie Friday Vol. 2

2005-07-15T07:14:00.000+02:00

I'm pretty sure the guy in this photo was still alive at the time of shooting. How long he stayed that way I don't know. The one thing I can be sure of is that I can think of better ways to spend my time. Being buried alive under about 350lbs of cellulite is NOT one of them. Have a nice weekend all. I'm outta here. ~ Raven The Insensitive

Road Trip - Salzburg, Austria

2005-07-14T22:45:00.000+02:00

Thoght I would post again since tomarrow is Fattie Friday, and I'm heading out for the weekend. What's the most important thing for a road trip? Music duh... I Can't believe you missed that. Well I needed something new for the long drive so I decided to ste... eer share some music from the internet. I have about 2 to 3 hours in a car till I get to Munich to pick up the chopper. So man must have tunes. Here's my play list to start the trip off. Let me know what you think. A note for the readers. My wife is a Celine Dion fan, so I'm pretty sure she'll be insane after the first hour. ;)

1. Marlyin Manson - mOBSCENE 2. Rage Against The Machine - Renegades of Funk 3. The Bloodhoundgang - Chasey Lane 4. SlipKnot - Duality 5. The Offspring - Gotta Get Away 6. Exies - Ugly 7. System Of A Down - BYOB 8. Stone Temple Pilots - Trippn' On A Hole In A Paper Heart 9. Chevelle - The Red 10. No Address - When I'm Gone 11. Velvet Revolver - Dirty Little Thing 12. Seether - Remedy 13. Jet - Cold Heart Bitch 14. Green Day - 86 15. Thornley - Beautiful... How's that for a start? ~ Raven

Poor Doggie...

2005-07-14T10:05:00.000+02:00

Boobies And Beer Two Things That Go Great Together...

2005-07-13T08:11:00.000+02:00

Guys learn young about the really important things in life. This fine looking lass here will have to make up for Demi. Unless someone tells me she's also had a tit reduction operation! What's up with that shit anyway. Tit reduction??? First women want those nice big mellons. In turn getting us men on the band wagon. Now it seems overnite women have changed their collective minds. Now tea cup size tits are in. WTF is a guy gonna do? ~ Raven

The Oracle Picks Demi Moore As Hottie Of The Week...

2005-07-12T08:23:00.000+02:00

Make no mistake, Demi has earned the presidential seal of approval. If GW would hit it then hell she's got to be good to go. When interviewed GW said that "Ms. Moore's tit job in the late 90's has given her body great definition. Or like we say around here at the White House. Bitch be packin WMD's!"
Right on! Do great looks make up for a lack of acting ability? Yes of course it does! Oh I know that some of you say she' a rag and a ho, and your probably right. Still long black hair paired with those great knockers makes her an Oracle pick. ~ Raven

Freak Show At The Neighbors' Pad...

2005-07-11T07:48:00.000+02:00

Let's say some new neighbors invite you over for dinner on Saturday nite. You accept, or rather your wife accepts, and it's a done deal. The big day comes. You both shuffle over with a bottle of wine, and a welcome basket. The host answers with his wife. Everyone is pleased all around. Your host shows you into the living room. Where you can get acquainted with the other dinner guests. You sit down look across, and see what is pictured below. What would you do? Would you try to strike up a conversation? If yes, then about what? Which whips work better? Handcuff companies? WTF Don't be sayin it can't happen either, because someone had to have taken this picture. The Oracle recommends that you should avoid dinner engagements with neighbors for the next couple of weeks. Just to be on the safe side. ~ Raven The Pagan

The Ho's of munchkin land...

2005-07-10T18:49:00.000+02:00

Pimp's up Ho's down. I guess 66 years really changes a neighborhood. Do you think they have all the modern vices there in munchkin land? Crack houses, casinos, ect... sky's the limit. It just might be my kind of place to take a vacation. ~ Raven

Paying The Rent...

2005-07-09T07:37:00.000+02:00

Yes advertisements help pay the rent. Yes I know blogspot is for free, but I need money anyway. So send it to me. Or spend it on this killer Top of the line MP3 player. Rock on. ~ Raven

Introducing - Fattie Friday!!! Vol.1

2005-07-08T07:37:00.000+02:00

Thoght I would make every Friday - Fattie Friday. All this hot mamma here wants to do is plant her flag on a pole. O.K. Guy's fat chick protocols 1 and 5 are in effect with this one. 1 being - When in doubt. Roll'em in flour and finger the wet spot. 5 being - Warning! Brown Bagger! ~ Raven the Insenseitive

London Next Week...

2005-07-07T19:19:00.000+02:00

Bad break for London today. The people who protect all of us need to be right every time. When the bad guys are right just once, we all see what happens. Up till about 5 weeks ago I had been planning a nice weeks stay in London. Glad I changed it. Not that I'm afraid of more bombs. Security is going to be mega tight for the comming weeks. I just think it's going to be a rather unfestive locked down mood there. Let's all hope they speedly catch the perpatraters of this crime. ~ Raven

The Oracle Shows An Image NR.1

2005-07-06T20:07:00.000+02:00

The Oracle see's danger in your future. Be carefull of the people you piss-off for the next couple of weeks. Be most carefull by driving. The Oracle see's a 9 mm in a car Glove Compartment. This car is driven by a man with little or no sense of humour. Someone like Raven. Remember the life you save maybe your own. ~ Raven

The Demise of Ravens Rage...

2005-07-05T08:36:00.000+02:00

Hi Folks, Some of you might know me as Raven of Ravens Rage fame. There are millions of Blogs out there. So chances are you have NFI what I'm talking about. So we'll move right along to what I have to say. (If these damm voices in my head would just be quiet for a minute! Shut-UP! for the last time.) Anyway I got really bored with where my old Blog was going, and just needed an update. Well me being me. I'm to lazy to work at changing everything so I just started a new Blog. Bye-bye old Blog. I hope to have more Web-Log with this one, and not just be a Photo Blog. So if you Link me let me know. If you don't Link me or don't like me. Please DON'T let me know. I have a hard time dealing with rejection. I'm outta here. ~ Raven The Pagen